


Blushes Intensely

by bethonie (Formula_Tea)



Series: Little Steps [1]
Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Bullying, M/M, school au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-14
Updated: 2015-02-14
Packaged: 2018-03-12 10:03:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3352535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Formula_Tea/pseuds/bethonie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for winterbreakprompt's Valentine's Day fix exchange. Rob and Felipe meet at school. :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blushes Intensely

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ThePagemistress](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThePagemistress/gifts).



It was probably the hottest summer Rob could remember and, in the end, he couldn’t put up with his mum’s constant “you should get out the house whilst the weather’s nice” rant. The entire point of the summer was that he didn’t have to interact with other kids and he didn’t know why his mum would try to force him to do so, but it was working. He shoved a couple of books into a bag and headed to the park, hoping he could get some peace for a few hours.

The park was fairly quiet, a group of teenage boys having scared off the young families that would usually be occupying the play area. The boys were now playing football on the other side of the path to where Rob sat himself, determined to get to the end of his book before the end of the day.

He’d only just found his place in the book again when there was a loud _thud_ from across the path and the football smacked him in the head.

 _Great_.

The boys burst into laughter as the ball bounced off Rob’s head and off behind him somewhere. He rolled his eyes, getting up to get the ball to a chorus of “nice one, Felipe”.

He picked up the ball and the boys watched him, expectantly.

“If you want it come and get it,” Rob called over. He was asking for a fight and he knew it but he was pissed: at the boys, at his mum for making him come out, and at life in general. It was him. It was _always_ him.

“Don’t be a twat!” one of the boys called back.

“Fuck you.”                                            

“Go and get the fucking ball Felipe,” someone called, shoving one of the younger boys forward to get the ball. He looked embarrassed more than anything and Rob would have felt sorry for him if he hadn’t had a football booted into his cranium.

“Sorry,” the boy muttered. “Do not have such a good aim.”

“Managed to hit me, though,” Rob said.

The boy rolled his eyes and held out his hand for the football. Rob held the ball a little higher. The kid was only short and he’d have to reach to get it.

Rob really wanted that fight.

“Oh, because I have never seen this one before,” the boy said, reaching for the ball only for Rob to hold it a little higher. “Just give it back.”

“Get it yourself,” Rob teased, the anger in the smaller boy’s eyes making him grin.

“Nerd,” the kid said. He wasn’t going to jump for the ball, much to Rob’s disappointment, but dropped down the pick Rob’s book up from where he’d left it on the grass.

“Oi, no, give that back,” Rob said, bringing the ball down and holding out a hand for the book before the kid could look at it.

“What is it?” the boy asked. He took a step back, opening the book.

“Give it back,” Rob demanded.

“Give me back our ball.”

“Have your fucking ball,” Rob snapped, tossing the ball over to the other boys. The kid glared at him before dropping the book to the floor and returning to his friends.

Red faced, Rob picked up his book and bag, shoving the book inside and storming off to find somewhere quieter to try and read.

 

September came far too soon for Rob’s liking and school started again as the glorious summer gave way to the downpours that preceded autumn. Rob stood outside his form room waiting for nine o’clock to come and the form teacher to arrive. He knew the girls waiting on the other side of the corridor were looking at him, but he was trying not to pay them any attention, even if their giggles were more than a little distracting.

“3M4… 3M9… Why are these doors not in order?”

Rob looked up from his latest book to find a short kid with thin glasses looking between the sheet of paper in his hand and the room numbers. It couldn’t be… it was. It was the same fucking kid from the park. Even without looking Rob knew it was him, his accent standing out amongst the Middlesbrough drawl like a sore thumb.

“Where are you looking for?” somebody asked him.

“3M6,” the boy said.

Rob looked up at the classroom door, but he didn’t really need to. 3M6 had been his form room for the past two years.

“Here,” Rob’s form mate said, nodding to the classroom.

“Right,” the boy from the park said, looking past Rob to check the door number was right. “Felipe,” he said to Rob’s form mate. “Starting new.”

“Aaron.”

“You can’t be in year nine,” Rob said.

“I _know_ I am small but…” Felipe stopped when he looked up at Rob, the recognition clear on his face. “You are the asshole from the park.”

“You’re the one that booted the ball in my face, sunshine” Rob reminded him. His grip on his book had automatically tightened. It was a different book now, and he was pretty sure the kid hadn’t understood what he had been reading, but that didn’t matter to him.

“Did not _mean_ to,” Felipe snapped back. “Was not aiming at you. Told you I have a shit aim.”

“You didn’t mean to?” Rob asked. “But they were all laughing.”

“At _me_ ,” Felipe said. “And you only made it worse, holding the ball too high for me to reach.”

Aaron snorted, trying to contain his laughter, and Felipe whipped around to glare at him, which only made Aaron laugh more. He turned back to Rob, taking a step forward so Rob’s back was against the wall.

“Thank you for that,” he said. “Starting a fresh and I’m already humiliated in front of everybody.”

“With aim like that, I don’t really think I made an impact,” Rob said, looking down at his new form mate.

“Fuck you.”

“Who’s the nerd now?” Rob asked, pushing the bridge of the smaller boy’s glasses into his nose and making him stumble back a step.

This was going to be an interesting year. Or however long Felipe lasted.

 

Rob sat at the back of the class whilst his form teacher went through what was becoming the usual welcome back speech. It didn’t interest him in the slightest and it was more important he get through the book, to prove to himself that he could. Felipe kept looking at him. He’d catch sight of the new kid out of the corner of his eye, sat in a spare seat in the row in front of Rob’s. It was almost as bad as the giggling girls. At least they sat in the front row and couldn’t really look back without being caught.

“Rob, can you put your book down for five minutes whilst I go through this?” Omand, the form teacher, asked. “It’s important everyone knows what’s going on at the end of this year.”

There wasn’t much point, but Rob closed his book anyway. Whatever it was wouldn’t apply to him and Omand knew it. The teacher returned to talking about the options they had at the end of the year and, no matter how hard Rob tried to focus, he found his mind wandering. He glanced around the classroom to see if anyone else was as bored as he was, and was surprised to find the new kid watching him. As soon as their eyes met, Felipe looked away, but he glanced back a few seconds later.

Rob made a conscious decision to ignore him. He probably _had_ realised what Rob was realised and was going to be a dick about it after all. When the bell rang, he hurried out of the classroom, trying to get as far away from the kid – and the rest of his class - as possible.

Felipe seemed to have other ideas.

“Um… do you know where is 2… 2U6?”

Rob ignored the voice. He couldn’t even be sure Felipe was talking to him and, even if he was, someone else was sure to answer him.

There was a tug on Rob’s blazer and he spun around, automatically going to defence as a force of habit. Felipe stepped back, surprised.

“I really didn’t mean to hit you,” he said.

“Piss off,” Rob muttered, marching down the corridor towards the stairs.

“If you do not want to talk to me then that is fine,” Felipe said, following Rob. “But at least tell me where the room is. Is the first lesson and I do not want to be late.”

“Didn’t they give you a tour or something?” Rob asked.

“No,” Felipe said. “Well, yes, but I got lost then too.”

“Right,” Rob knew where 2U6 was. It was his classroom too- just his luck. But he figured he could have some fun – just this once – and maybe the kid would leave him alone after that. “You go down these stairs…”

 

Maths was one of the few things Rob was actually good at. His mum liked to joke that it was because there were no big words to read and Rob, though he hated it, had to agree. He couldn’t explain why maths made sense when pretty much nothing else did, but it clicked.

He was already getting stuck into the problem sheet whilst the teacher went over simultaneous equations for the fourth or fifth time.

Half an hour into the lesson, just as the teacher was about to give up and set the class questions, there was a knock at the door.

“Come in.”

Felipe had arrived. He glared at Rob, embarrassed by his own stupidity for believing him. Rob allowed himself a smug grin but didn’t say a word.

“Sorry am late, sir,” Felipe said. “Got lost. Think I am in this class.”

“Felipe?”

“Yes sir.”

“Right,” the teacher said. “You can sit there, beside Elizabeth. I suppose I can go over this one more time.”

 

The paper pellet hit Rob in the back of the neck, but Rob just gritted his teeth and ignored it, like he was always told. But, like always, it didn’t work, and the pellet was followed closely by a second.

Felipe was trying to listen to the teacher, who was explaining to Elizabeth why -3a+3a was zero, but the movement behind him caught his eye. Two boys at the back of the class were making good use of the next exercise books and seemed to be in competition over who had the best pellet technique. Rob, clearly the target, was going redder and redder with each hit.

“Sir?”

“Just a second Felipe.”

Rob just held his pen tighter, going through the extension questions. He knew his table mate had to have noticed what was going on, but he was happy to ignore it if it meant an easy life.

“Sir?” Felipe asked with a little more urgency this time.

“Just a second Felipe.”

There were tears in Rob’s eyes now and he hurriedly wiped them before anyone could see, going over the question again, trying to get his useless brain to work, just _once_. Not already. He was not going to let them get to him in the first fucking lesson.

“What is it, Felipe? Is there something you don’t understand?” the teacher finally asked, and Felipe just nodded over to Rob, who was clearly distressed and starting to attract attention for other people too.

The teacher sighed.

“Come on, lads,” he said. “You’re damaging school property. The books are for writing, not making weapons. Now, do you need any help?”

As soon as the bell rang, Rob was out of the door again, rushing into the toilets and wiping his eyes and wash his face with cold water. The teachers kept telling him to not get bothered by them, but it wasn’t that simple.

“Are you alright?”

For fuck sake.

“Come to laugh?” Rob muttered.

“No,” Felipe said, quietly. “Wanted to make sure you are ok.”

“I’m fine,” Rob said, wiping his eyes again and refusing to look at Felipe. “Why do you care?”

“Do not like to see anybody being bullied,” Felipe said, pushing himself up to sit on the sink beside Rob. “Even if they are assholes who send me on a crazy goose chase.”

Rob laughed a little. “It’s wild.”

“Sorry?”

“It’s a wild goose chase,” Rob said. “And I’m sorry.”

“It’s ok,” Felipe said. “Can I trust you to show me where geography is? As a punishment?”

“Sure,” Rob said, sniffing a little and pulling his bag back onto his shoulder. “You know, you probably don’t want to be seen hanging out with me.”

“Why not?” Felipe asked, looking up at Rob.

“Do you want that as well?” the taller boy asked, jerking his thumb back to the classroom. The corridor was empty now, but Felipe knew what he was talking about.

“Would not dare do that to me,” Felipe said. “Would bite their ankles. Hey, I could be like your mini body guard.”

“Really, you don’t want to be around me,” Rob said.

“Maybe I do,” Felipe said.

“We’ll see after this,” Rob said, leading Felipe to the geography classroom.

 

Rob hated Mr Wilson. And Mr Wilson hated Rob. It was a relationship that served neither of them.

There was no seating plan in the geography classroom, but Wilson made a point of suggesting Rob sit near the front, “in case he needed any extra help”. Rob sat himself purposefully at the back of the class, and Felipe plonked himself down alongside him.

There was a reason Rob hated Wilson, a reason everybody in the entire class knew, and, as the teacher started to hand out the textbooks, Rob’s vision started to blur with tears again. Here they went again…

“Alright,” Wilson called slapping a book down on each desk. “I’m not going to sit here and read this to you. That’s your job. Page twenty two. Rivers. Let’s start at the beginning.”

Every lesson started the same way. Wilson would pick a kid to read aloud whilst the rest of the class followed along. He’d change at random to another student and almost always-

“… generally, this water makes only a small contribution to a stream’s volume.”

“Rob.”

Rob looked up from the book to glare at the teacher. “Don’t know where we are, _sir_.”

There were already a couple of kids sniggering and he hadn’t even read anything yet. Wilson was a bastard, and he knew it.

“Why don’t you ask someone who’s actually been paying attention to show you?” the teacher suggested. “Come on, Rob. We don’t have all day.”

“We are here,” Felipe said, quietly, pointing out the paragraph they’d just finished, but even he could tell that wasn’t what the problem was. “In places where…”

“In places where…” Rob began, his finger nails digging into the palms of his hands so much he was sure he was going to draw blood, but he couldn’t even see where he was supposed to be reading from. “In places where…”

“Come on, Rob,” Wilson said, impatiently.

“I am trying,” Rob said through gritted teeth. He wouldn’t look up from the book, not wanting to see Wilson’s triumphant smirk, the rest of the class turned around to face him with grins on their faces. He could do this and nobody was going to tell him otherwise. “In places where…”

“… the ground surface is flat…” Felipe whispered.

“… the ground surface is flat…”

“… or forms a depression…”

“… or forms a depression…”

“… water accumulates in a standing body.”

“… water accumulates…”

“… in a standing body.”

“… in a standing body.”

“Aaron, take over,” Wilson called, looking over the edge of the textbook at the desk at the back of the classroom. “Well read, Felipe.”

 

“You can’t read. So what?”

“I _can_ read,” Rob hissed, weary of the other kids in the lunch line. He rolled his eyes at the giggles that had become the norm. “I can. I just… read slower. And not aloud.”

“Still, do not really see what the problem is,” Felipe said.

“I’m thick,” Rob said.

“Do not think that is true,” Felipe said, but he knew Rob didn’t believe that. “That teacher was just a jerk.”

“I’m still thick,” Rob said. He was nearly fourteen years old and he couldn’t read out of a textbook in class. He was thick.

“Are not.”

“Stupid, dumb, retarded,” Rob listed off the names. “Pick whatever you want. I’m not going to deny it, Felipe.”

Felipe didn’t reply, looking up at Rob with his forehead folded in concentration. Rob just ignored him, shuffling along the line towards the food.

“Do not think you are any of these things,” Felipe said after careful consideration. “Think you are just… different. Special.”

“You make it sound like a good thing,” Rob said as the dinner lady slopped a ladle full of chilli onto his plate.

“Maybe it is,” Felipe said.

 

Rob dumped his school bag in the hallway, taking out his books and racing up the stairs before his mum could speak to him. The rest of the day had been relatively uneventful. The giggles were there, all the time, but it was easy enough to ignore.

His mum didn’t follow him up the stairs – she never did – and he let himself into his room as quickly as possible. Here he could be alone and, unlike the alone he was at school, it was a good alone.

He sighed in relief, sinking onto the bed. One down. One hundred and seventy nine to go.

“Rob! Dinner’ll be half hour. It would be nice to actually see you sometimes, you know.”

Rob groaned, rolling onto his side. Peace didn’t last long anymore.

It was just him and mum now. He didn’t know where dad was and he didn’t really care much either. He didn’t need him or want him and the fact he wasn’t there had very little impact on Rob’s life, other than the fact now his mum didn’t let him eat dinner alone in his room, insisting he come down and make conversation with her, “so she wasn’t lonely”.

Rob came down to his mum pouring a small portion of pasta onto a plate for him. She seemed in a good mood and Rob forced himself to smile as he took the plate, trying to keep the mood in place.

“So, how was school?” his mum asked, following him into the living room.

“Alright”

“Just alright?”

“Yeah.”

“Anything interesting happen?” she asked.

She knew something. Rob wasn’t sure what, but she knew something, and the suspiciously good mood was explained.

“No…” he said slowly.

“I heard you have Mr Wilson again this year,” his mum said.

 _That_.

“Refused to read in lesson.”

“That wasn’t what happened,” Rob mumbled, but he knew it was no use. His mum would believe any teacher over him, even if it was obvious the teacher hated his existence.

“I better not have to go down to that school every week, Rob,” she warned. “I had enough of that last year.”

“He hates me,” Rob said. “He only does it because he knows I can’t.”

“Please just try,” his mum said. “If that’s not too much to ask.”

Rob just rolled his eyes and nodded. There was no point arguing over it.

“There’s a new kid at school,” Rob said instead, trying to change the subject.

“In your year?”

“My form.”

“God, imagine starting a new school two years after everyone else,” Rob’s mum said, easily distracted. “Any ideas why they moved schools?”

“He just moved here,” Rob said. “From Brazil.”

“Brazil?” Rob’s mum said, surprised. “Well, looks like you might not be the worst in English anymore, hey?”

 

As always, Rob was early to form. When Felipe arrived, he was stood by the classroom door, reading. Felipe watched him for a little while, grinning as he watched Rob’s lips move with each word.

“Good morning,” he said, when Rob finally noticed him.

“You’re cheerful,” Rob said.

“Am always cheerful,” Felipe said. “Hey, I have something for you. Wait a second.”

Rob frowned, confused, but closed his book anyway. If there was someone actually trying to be nice to him, he should probably make an effort to pay attention to them. It didn’t happen very often.

Felipe pulled a book out of his own bag, proudly offering it to Rob. Rob peered at the book, even more confused.

“What is it?”

“Is a book,” Felipe said, nodding down at it.

“Yes, I can see that,” Rob said. “But why are you giving it to me?”

“Is for you.”

“I have books of my own.”

“Kiddie books,” Felipe said. “Saw them, what you was reading yesterday and then as well in the park. They are for little kids. This is not.”

“I can read books for little kids,” Rob mumbled. He thought Felipe had understood that, but apparently not.

“Then you can read this,” Felipe said, opening the book. “Look, story is for people our age, yes? But the words are for seven and eight year olds. Look.”

Rob looked at the pages Felipe showed him, still unconvinced. It _looked_ the same as the book he was reading at the moment.

“Where did you get it?”

“Teacher gave it to me for when I was learning English,” Felipe explained. “You can borrow it, if you want. For as long as you need. Have already read it. Lots of times.”

Rob smiled weakly, Felipe’s beaming contagious. “Thank you.”

 

“My mum says I have to invite you round for dinner,” Felipe said one day, a couple of months into the school year.

“Dinner?”

“Yes,” Felipe said. “Is the right word? Says I talked about you so much that she must meet you.”

“You talk about me?” Rob asked, slightly worried even though he _knew_ Felipe would never say anything bad about him.

“Yes,” Felipe said. “You are…” He stopped, trying to find the right word but ended up grinning sheepishly down at his history book. “You are my best friend, no?”

Rob huffed a laugh when he realised what Felipe had said. “Yeah, yeah I suppose I am.”

“So you will come?” Felipe asked, eagerly.

“I’ll have to check with my mum but yeah, I guess.”

 

He wasn’t here to be judged.

Rob wasn’t sure how many times Felipe had told him that, but he didn’t believe it. He couldn’t make himself believe it. Felipe’s parents were going to see what an idiot their son had decided to attach himself to and would soon stop Felipe talking to him. And Rob could not let that happen.

He knocked quickly on the door, hoping he hadn’t knocked too many times, and stepped away to wait for it to open. It seemed to take forever for someone to answer but eventually Felipe appeared. He grinned, opening the door whilst babbling to someone inside the house in a language Rob didn’t understand.

“Come in,” he said, a little breathless. “Please ignore all of the things that my brother says. He is a… how do you say asshole without swearing?”

Someone shouted out to them, again in a language Rob couldn’t understand (the only parts of which Rob caught were Felipe’s name and a rather rude swear his friend had taught him), then a woman appeared behind Felipe.

“You must be Rob,” the woman said, smiling warmly. “We have heard lots about you. Felipe, why have you not invited him in yet?”

“I have _just_ done that,” Felipe said with an exaggerated sigh. The woman – whom Rob assumed was Felipe’s mother - disappeared inside and Felipe grinned, sheepishly. “Come in,” he said again, stepping aside to let Rob in. “I hope you like fish. My mum has made enough for about maybe million people.”

 

“So,” Felipe’s father said over the dinner table, passing a bowl of peas over to his eldest son. “Felipe says you are a mathematics whizz.”

“I’m… pretty good at maths,” Rob said. He could feel his cheeks going red again but, this time, he didn’t really mind.

“That’s not all that Felipe says,” Felipe’s brother said, receiving a slap on the back of his head from his father for the trouble.

Rob was surprised to find Felipe also blushing, pouring an insanely large amount of peas onto his plate to stop himself having to look up.

“Is a shame you have not rubbed off on him,” Felipe’s mother said.

“Am not _that_ bad,” Felipe complained, but he was ignored by both his parents as they tried to make Rob talk about himself.

After dinner, Felipe, after lots of complaining and huffing, helped his brother wash the dishes, leaving Rob alone with his parents. Rob didn’t mind. He felt more comfortable with Felipe’s parents than he did his own and looked forward to answering more questions about maths, school, and life in England for them.

The Massas had other plans, though.

“Thank you,” Felipe’s mother said, gently resting a hand on Rob’s.

“What for?” Rob asked, confused.

“We were worried about him… making friends, you know?” Felipe’s father explained. “Was not sure if he was going to… um… fit in. Is ok with Dudu. He makes friends like _that_. Felipe is… He was not so happy to leave his old friends behind. We were not sure he would make anymore or be happy here.”

“He is not like normal kids your age,” Felipe’s mother continued. “Is a bit funny about his friends. Is maybe not the best at making them. Is scared, I think.”

“Of messing up,” Felipe’s father added, to clarify.

“Felipe?” Rob asked, confused. He couldn’t imagine a person more different than Felipe than the person his parents seemed to think he was. “Felipe has no trouble making friends.”

Now Rob thought about it, Felipe didn’t have that many friends, but he’d always assumed that was _his_ fault. People made stupid comments about him because he hung out with Rob. It was no fault of his own.

“You are the only one he talks about,” Felipe’s mother said. “It is good that he has you. Have really helped him settle in”

“It really wasn’t anything to do with me,” Rob tried to say. If anything, he’d hindered that. But Felipe’s parents weren’t having any of it.

Rob was saved from needing to deny his helping Felipe anymore by a text from his mother. He sighed, a little disappointed.

“I should get going.”

“Won’t you stay for cake?” Felipe’s mother asked, standing as Rob did.

“No, mum wants me back,” Rob said. She probably hadn’t remembered he was supposed to be staying late, but if he tried to argue with her she’d only deny that he’d mentioned going to Felipe’s at all. “But thank you.”

“Any time,” Felipe’s mother said. “I mean it. You come here whenever you want to.”

 

“It’s weird,” Rob said.

“What’s weird?”

They were sat in the park again, Felipe with his head in Rob’s lap whilst he played some video game, Rob sampling the Massas’ home cooking.

“You.”

“Thank you,” Felipe said, his eyes flicking past the game to look up at Rob. He grinned up at him and Rob returned the look, the smile infectious.

“Sorry,” Rob said. “I mean, you could be friends with anybody in that school, and you picked me.”

“Is not true.”

“Is,” Rob said. “Why did you do that? Alienate yourself from everybody.”

“Maybe I liked you,” Felipe said with a small shrug, sticking his tongue out when he focused on the game.

“You called me an asshole,” Rob remembered.

“You were being an asshole,” Felipe remembered.

“You still haven’t answered my question,” Rob said, poking Felipe in the side and making him squirm. “Why did you do that?”

Felipe shrugged again and looked up at Rob, but quickly returned his eyes back to the game. “You were nice, once you stopped being an asshole. And kind. Clever – do not say otherwise. Funny. Pretty.”

Rob snorted. “Pretty?”

Felipe blushed. “Yeah.”

“Think you got the wrong word there, mate,” Rob said.

Felipe thought for a moment, pausing the game so he could concentrate on the new task. “No,” he said, eventually. “Pretty is the right word.”

 

For the first time in ages, Rob didn’t rush up the stairs when he arrived back at the house, still a little dazed.

“And the wanderer returns! Where have you been? I’ve had that Mr Wilson on the phone again. Apparently your essay sounds like it was written by a five year old. Don’t think just because you’ve been out for hours I won’t- Rob? What’s the matter?”

His mum frowned when she found him stood in the front hall, not marching up the stairs. He let his school bag drop to the floor and smiled, sheepishly.

“Felipe said I was pretty,” Rob said, quietly. He still didn’t really believe it himself. It didn’t _mean_ anything, of course. But it still made his stomach flutter when he thought about it, the look on Felipe’s face when he said it…

“Pretty?” his mum said with as much disbelief as Rob had had.

“Yeah,” Rob said, laughing a little.

“He probably just got his words mixed up or something,” his mum said, leading him through to the living room where his food was waiting and waving the comment away as if it were nothing. “His English probably isn’t that good.”

“His English is fine,” Rob muttered, hoping his mum didn’t really hear him.

“So, some boy has called you pretty and it’s got you like this?” his mum asked, sitting with her own half eaten meal. “Wow, Rob, you’re more of an idiot than your teacher makes you out to be.”

“I am not.”

“Pardon?”

“I’m not an idiot,” Rob said.

“So your teachers are all liars?”

“Felipe says I’m not,” Rob said, and he knew how pathetic that sounded and wanted to take it back as soon as he said it, but the words were out there now.

His mum smirked. “He has you right where he wants you, doesn’t he?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Rob muttered, looking down at his food, but suddenly the idea of eating made him feel sick.

“Of course you don’t.”

“Stop that,” Rob snapped. “Stop making out like I’m thick because I’m not. And stop making Felipe out to be… whatever you’re making him out to be, because he isn’t.”

“You don’t think he really _likes_ you, do you?” his mum laughed.

Rob froze. He didn’t think that. He didn’t think that because Felipe _couldn’t_ like him. It was asking too much and Rob wasn’t going to let himself get worked up about nothing only to be disappointed.

“He’s just using you to get what he wants,” Rob’s mum said, slowly, as if her son wouldn’t be able to understand words spoken at a normal pace.

“Fuck you,” Rob said, shoving the plate of food onto the floor.

“I beg your pardon.”

“Fuck you,” Rob said, louder. He hurried out of the room, ignoring his mother’s calls after him, grabbed his bag and coat, and left.

 

“Rob? Left you half an hour ago. Cannot be missing me that much.”

“Do you like me?” Rob asked. He didn’t know where he was going, he just knew he needed to get away.

“Of course I like you,” Felipe laughed.

“No, do you _like_ like me?” Rob asked, as if that made things any clearer. He wasn’t even sure if he really wanted to know, but he had to ask.

“Do not really understand,” Felipe said, slowly. “Are you ok?”

Rob took a deep breath and closed his eyes, falling to a stop outside a shop. “Do you fancy me?” he asked.

There was silence on the other end of the line. Rob pushed the phone against his ear, as if he might get an answer sooner that way, but there was nothing for a long time. Then Felipe sighed.

“Has taken you long enough to realise,” he said, eventually.

“Felipe?”

“Think maybe we need to talk,” Felipe said.

“We’re talking now,” Rob said.

“I can’t. Dudu is listening,” Felipe said. “Can we talk about it tomorrow before form?”

“I can’t go home,” Rob said, shaking his head. “I told my mum to fuck off. Fuck, I’m such an…”

“You are not,” Felipe told him again. “Right. I will meet you in the park. Give me ten minutes, yeah?”

 

Felipe was late but Rob didn’t really mind. It gave him a chance to calm down a little. Winter had definitely taken over and it was freezing now, Rob’s coat doing nothing to stop the cold. Felipe sat on the bench beside Rob, taking in the bag. For a little while, he didn’t say anything, not wanting to make things worse.

“Are running away?” Felipe asked.

Rob sighed, running his hands though his hair again. “Probably not. I’ve not got anywhere to go. But I can’t go back. I hate her.”

“I know,” Felipe said, gently. Rob had been telling him stories of his wonderful mother since he’d jokingly asked why Rob would never introduce him to his parents.

“Told her to fuck off,” Rob said. So those weren’t his exact words, but Felipe would get the point.

“You said,” Felipe said. “Why did you do that?”

“She was being a bitch.”

“She always is.”

“About you,” Rob finished. “Do you really…?”

He glanced over at Felipe, hoping he got the message. Felipe was looking at the ground, pulling his own coat tighter around him. He nodded, not trusting himself to speak.

“Why?” Rob asked.

“Thought I explained all these things earlier,” Felipe said, quietly.

“You told me why we were friends,” Rob said. “You didn’t say anything about… anything else.”

“Is maybe not _love_ ,” Felipe explained, slowly. “Is something though. Is more than friends, know this for sure. So maybe is love. Have tried to do the flirting thing. Has not worked so much, you see.”

Rob laughed weakly, but Felipe just squirmed. He still wouldn’t look at Rob.

“Understand if you do not want to be around me anymore,” Felipe said. “But would like to still be friends if you will have me. Does not have to be weird between us.”

“Why would it be weird?” Rob asked, shifting a little closer to Felipe on the bench. “You look freezing, we should go someplace warmer.”

“You are not cold?”

“Yeah, but I’m a northern lad, used to this kind of weather” Rob said, grinning as he stood. It was only then that he realised he didn’t have anywhere to go. There was no way he could take Felipe back to his house. Not now.

Felipe, again, seemed to read his mind. “We could go back to mine. If you still want to talk, maybe we can talk on the way.”

“Alright,” Rob said. He didn’t have better ideas. “I think you should explain.”

“What?”

“I don’t understand,” Rob said. He waved his hand a little, as if that made him any clearer, then ran a hand through his hair, trying to think of the right words but they wouldn’t come. “Why didn’t you tell me before?”

Felipe shrugged. “Did not really know what I wanted to do. Still do not know. Do not want to lose you as a friend, Rob.”

“Why would you?” Rob asked.

“Have done it before,” Felipe mumbled. “Fallen for friends. Is disgusting. I know this. But cannot help it. Sorry.”

“Sorry?”

“Yes.”

“I don’t think it’s disgusting,” Rob said, stopping and using Felipe’s momentum to bring the smaller boy crashing into him. His hand was in Rob’s and Rob could feel him shaking. Felipe looked up at him with wide eyes.

“You don’t?”

Rob shook his head.

“But it is not right or proper and the only reason you were even friends with me in the first place was because I would not leave you alone and I am little and annoying and now I have added this as well and the only reason you have not told me to piss off already is because I would not listen anyway and I give you cookies and-.”

Rob pressed his lips against Felipe’s. He’d no idea what he was doing but this seemed like the best way to get him to shut up. Felipe didn’t seem to mind though, standing on his toes so Rob didn’t need to lean down so far.

As soon as he realised what he was doing, Rob pulled away.

“Sorry. Shit, I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Felipe said. His hand was still in Rob’s, but it wasn’t shaking anymore.

“If I wanted to tell you to piss off then I would,” Rob said, quietly, looking down at their interlocking fingers. “And your mum’s cookies are great but they’re not enough to put up with you for.”

“You did not have to do that,” Felipe said, quietly.

“Maybe I wanted to,” Rob murmured.

When he finally looked at Felipe again, he found the smaller boy looking up at him, searching Rob’s face for an answer to some unspoken question.

“Are you alright?” Rob asked, laughing at the concentration on his friend’s (was that even the right word anymore?) face.

“Think maybe you _like_ like me too?” Felipe asked.

“Think maybe I do,” Rob said, quietly.

Felipe smiled sheepishly, stepping up onto his toes to look. Rob found his own goofy grin reflected back at him in Felipe’s glasses before Felipe pushed himself a little higher and the glasses hit Rob on the nose. They both stumbled back, Felipe rubbing the bridge of his nose and Rob blinking in confusion.

“You haven’t done this kissing thing before, have you?” he asked.

“No,” Felipe said, wrinkling his nose. “Think maybe we should practice.”

“Of course you do,” Rob said, hanging his arm over Felipe’s shoulders and steering the smaller boy back to his house.

 

“Mum!” Felipe called, leading Rob into the house he’d now come to think of as a second home. “Rob had an argument with his mum. Can he stay here the night?”

“Of course he can,” Felipe’s mother called in from another room. “Rob, dear, what is the-?”

The woman appeared from the kitchen. Almost immediately she noticed her son’s hand linked with the other boy’s and she stopped, talking to Felipe in Portuguese. Felipe nodded in answer to some question Rob didn’t understand. A smile broke onto his mother’s face and she asked another and Felipe nodded again.

“Rob! Come here,” she called, but he didn’t have a chance to move before she wrapped her arms around him and squeezed him tight whilst she called in to Felipe’s father.

“Are going to kill him!” Felipe said, the fear in his voice clear even if he was trying to hide it.

“We did not think he would have the guts to do it,” his mother said, eventually letting Rob go.

“ _Mum_.”

“So you are part of the family now, Rob?” Felipe’s father asked, grinning from ear to ear. “We had better stop our eldest leading you astray then.”

 


End file.
